Struggling to keep your toddler at the dinner table? Join the club! Read on, and we’ll look at some ways to make keeping them at the table easier and what to do when they start trying to get down.

Mealtimes spent at the table as a family are magical little moments. A chance to find out about each other’s day and check-in. It builds a lovely re-connection point as your kids grow and gain more independence. However, as your gorgeous little baby turns into a toddler who knows their own mind keeping your toddler at the dinner table for long enough for them to eat their meal whilst keeping it enjoyable for everyone takes a little thought, patience and practice.

Why do toddlers struggle to sit at the table?

There are lots of reasons why toddlers want to get down from the table:

1 – they don’t know that we expect them to sit at the table until they are done

2 – they know it’s expected and need to test the boundary

3 – there are other more exciting things going on

4 – they need to use the potty

5 – they are full up

6 – they are uncomfortable in their chair

Why is it important for toddlers to stay at the table?

It’s found it hard to be consistent without a why, and kids thrive on consistent expectations. The first is a safety reason walking around whilst eating increases the risk of choking. The second is learning the appropriate social expectations. Learning to sit and interact at the table will make them fab dinner companions as older kids and adults.

How to get toddlers to sit at the dinner table

First, take care of the comfort things, ensure they have a comfy seat. Preferably one that they can kneel on and their feet have a foot rest.

Keep them engaged. We start all our dinners with a conversation about what the best thing about each person’s day was. Our toddler, often just reply’s “goody” but that’s him joining in with the conversation at his level. we can extend that by asking yes/no questions or very simple questions to keep him engaged. When our twelve-year-old is telling us about his day we keep the toddler engaged by asking him directly “what do you think of that” or “that sounded fun, would you like to try that one day?”. Jokes often work well too. Other good conversations for small children are about their meal, what was the weather like today? What animals did they see today? Anything they had a direct experience of. As they get older conversation can move on to more complex topics.

Presenting their food in a visually attractive way is another way to help keep their attention at the table. If you need some inspiration there are some great examples over at Childhood or search toddler food art on Pinterest.

Can I expect my toddler to sit at the dinner table?

Realistically you can only expect them to sit long enough to eat what they need. Expecting a toddler to sit until adults have finished talking and eating, is possible but would take a lot of attention and creativity on your part. Let your child in on your expectations too. At the start of the meal gently say “It’s dinner time now, time for you to sit at the table and eat your food until you are full up. Then you may leave the table.”

How much do they need to eat? You need to trust your toddler. If you set them up with food on their plate and set the scene for eating and being at the table, then they will eat what they need. Toddler eating varies from day-to-day. Their balance over several days is more important than what they eat at any individual meal.

What to do when your toddler starts to leave the table.

The first time your toddler starts to get up from the table give them a friendly reminder. Something along the lines of “I can see you are about to get down from the table, that lets me know you have finished your dinner. Have you finished or would you like to stay sitting and eat some more?” The second time they try to leave the table, let them leave and put away their food. If they didn’t eat much, trust that this is all they need right now and they will catch up tomorrow.

This simple strategy saves me lots of stress. Repeatedly bringing a busy toddler who wants to do something else back to the table is no fun. Simply reminding them once that leaving the table signals that they’ve finished and then letting them do what they need, is much simpler. At first, you will have to focus almost all your attention on them whilst they are at the table. Once they are done, you can just keep a gentle eye on them and enjoy the rest of your meal with the family.

Give this a try and let me know how you get on? What worked well? What stumbling blocks are you finding?

For a little more inspiration about simple parenting at dinner time check out my post here.